Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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