If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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