How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
