TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He shit in the fireplace
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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