So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
