problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
