i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
