she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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