Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
