You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize