Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
