I hate all girls vehemently.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas