Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.