I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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