ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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