I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Bring me that man meat
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
