My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
