i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
