I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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