There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.