wrigley field is MILF paradise
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!