We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
