Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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