69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
