Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didn't notice because vodka
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
