There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
