I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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