he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We left the knife in your bed.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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