My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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