Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize