hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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