he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
