I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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