He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
