i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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