and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize