As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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