so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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