seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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