Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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