I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You need a sexual gate keeper
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
tell me about the fingering
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