Me too!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize