i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
