I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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