your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
