why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We have started to decorate penises.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
