I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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