okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
