what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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