D3 body, D1 cock
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
