planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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