yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
