Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
