i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
