She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
