dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
