Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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