LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
