were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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