He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
